To understate the obvious, it's been far too long since you got some action.
You decide to go hang out at the local bar, hoping to at least get to first base. But you're getting shot down time and again, and you wind up nursing a drink at the bar. The bartender asks if you're ok, and in a bout of frustration you spill your guts to him. Rather than the empty platitudes you were expecting, the bartender gets this knowing twinkle in his eye. "Here. Look at this, but don't say a word." He says as he slides something that looks like a business card to you. Picking it up, you see a pale blue card with reflective accents and a mischievous cat's face in the upper corner. The bar's lighting is kind of dim, but you manage to read what it says:
"Slick Satisfaction Service."
Wanted: Sexually frustrated individuals that desperately need to blow off some steam.
All genders, genitals, and extras welcome AND provided.
To have a good time, simply return this card, your bar tab, and $30 per person to the bartender, and you will be directed nearby.
No questions asked, no judgements given.
Satisfaction Guaranteed.
~S
You glance back up at the bartender, a slight skeptical look in your eye. He doesn't verbally respond but gives a subtle nod at your silent query. You look back at the card and ponder for a moment about this strange turn of events.
Ah what the hell, you haven't been having much luck anyway.
Pulling out the required amount, you wordlessly hand him the cash and the card, and he slips it under the bar and into the register. "Head out back and climb the stairs. Apartment 3C. Can't miss it." You give your thanks and head out the bar and up the back stairs, seeing nobody around. After a little bit of searching, you find the surprisingly plain door and give it a tentative knock.
"Come in!" you hear, and you gently poke your head through the door. The inside looks... completely mundane. You could easily see the kitchen/living room combo nearby, and a few doors nearby leading to what you presume leads to the bedroom on the far wall. "Go ahead and sit on the sofa." You hear from the recliner that was facing away from you.
You close the door behind you and flop down onto the sofa and look to see who your host was for the evening. You're completely stunned to see... some strange gelatinous cat sitting there. No bigger than a basketball, it's tail waves in gentle motions as it's white eyes and cutesy face give you a look of barely restrained mischief. "Bet you weren't excepting to pay a slime for sex when you went out today, now were ya?" it teased. You could only shake your head no in silence.
The slime's face shifted to a gentler smile. "Since you're here, I already assume you have at least a good idea what to expect. But just in case you need a hint..."
The slime starts to grow, and soon it's shaped like a beautiful and buxom woman, the catlike features leading to a sense of playfulness.
"I can be anything you want tonight."
The slime then shifts into a chiseled and muscular man, a large extension jutting out from where its waist was.
"All you have to do is tell me what tickles your fancy, and I'll give you the ride of your life."
You see the slime shrink back into its original form; it's gaze full of a barely hidden lust that promised that it would keep its promise.
"So, what shall we do first?"
You decide to go hang out at the local bar, hoping to at least get to first base. But you're getting shot down time and again, and you wind up nursing a drink at the bar. The bartender asks if you're ok, and in a bout of frustration you spill your guts to him. Rather than the empty platitudes you were expecting, the bartender gets this knowing twinkle in his eye. "Here. Look at this, but don't say a word." He says as he slides something that looks like a business card to you. Picking it up, you see a pale blue card with reflective accents and a mischievous cat's face in the upper corner. The bar's lighting is kind of dim, but you manage to read what it says:
"Slick Satisfaction Service."
Wanted: Sexually frustrated individuals that desperately need to blow off some steam.
All genders, genitals, and extras welcome AND provided.
To have a good time, simply return this card, your bar tab, and $30 per person to the bartender, and you will be directed nearby.
No questions asked, no judgements given.
Satisfaction Guaranteed.
~S
You glance back up at the bartender, a slight skeptical look in your eye. He doesn't verbally respond but gives a subtle nod at your silent query. You look back at the card and ponder for a moment about this strange turn of events.
Ah what the hell, you haven't been having much luck anyway.
Pulling out the required amount, you wordlessly hand him the cash and the card, and he slips it under the bar and into the register. "Head out back and climb the stairs. Apartment 3C. Can't miss it." You give your thanks and head out the bar and up the back stairs, seeing nobody around. After a little bit of searching, you find the surprisingly plain door and give it a tentative knock.
"Come in!" you hear, and you gently poke your head through the door. The inside looks... completely mundane. You could easily see the kitchen/living room combo nearby, and a few doors nearby leading to what you presume leads to the bedroom on the far wall. "Go ahead and sit on the sofa." You hear from the recliner that was facing away from you.
You close the door behind you and flop down onto the sofa and look to see who your host was for the evening. You're completely stunned to see... some strange gelatinous cat sitting there. No bigger than a basketball, it's tail waves in gentle motions as it's white eyes and cutesy face give you a look of barely restrained mischief. "Bet you weren't excepting to pay a slime for sex when you went out today, now were ya?" it teased. You could only shake your head no in silence.
The slime's face shifted to a gentler smile. "Since you're here, I already assume you have at least a good idea what to expect. But just in case you need a hint..."
The slime starts to grow, and soon it's shaped like a beautiful and buxom woman, the catlike features leading to a sense of playfulness.
"I can be anything you want tonight."
The slime then shifts into a chiseled and muscular man, a large extension jutting out from where its waist was.
"All you have to do is tell me what tickles your fancy, and I'll give you the ride of your life."
You see the slime shrink back into its original form; it's gaze full of a barely hidden lust that promised that it would keep its promise.
"So, what shall we do first?"
You're doing your best, and that's awesome.